this is your aunt and I miss you

Elizabeth says:

my aunt?

Elizabeth says:

Which aunt? And why is my aunt on Brother’s MSN name's messenger in Sweden?

Brother’s MSN name says:

because i am in sweden, dummy ... visiting my husband's family

Elizabeth says:

Oh. I see. So it's [my aunt], then.

Brother’s MSN name says:

duh

Elizabeth says:

Snarky.

Elizabeth says:

So it only took you 3 years to miss me. That's a record.

Brother’s MSN name says:

i've missed you all that time

Brother’s MSN name says:

but you are disfellowshipped and you knew what would happen with us

Brother’s MSN name says:

i still love you anyway

Elizabeth says:

Well, how nice for you. I am disfellowshipped, yes. But we are family. My mother still speaks to me on occasion, my grandmother does as well. My siblings kept in sporadic contact. I would have thought you might have called to see if I was still alive at some point.

Elizabeth says:

I'm happy you are married and doing well.

Brother’s MSN name says:

i've always kept an eye on your life

Elizabeth says:

Sometimes that's not enough. I was close to you for a long time, I considered you my best friend. And because I leave the religion I ceased to exist for many people that were a part of my life.

Brother’s MSN name says:

you can't pretend you don't know what disfellowshipping involved

Elizabeth says:

I knew what it entailed. Of course I did. It's not the way I would have chosen but I didn't have much choice given my addiction at the time. I was disfellowshipped. It wasn't a surprise. What remains a surprise is that you would prefer to associate with [my other aunt]’s children and grandchildren. Unless you don't. In which case.... it's your decision.

Elizabeth says:

And I can't fault you for it.

Brother’s MSN name says:

i don't associate with them

Brother’s MSN name says:

they are over sometimes

Brother’s MSN name says:

they are kids

Brother’s MSN name says:

that's right, you can't

Elizabeth says:

So, why get in touch now? Just to re-open old wounds? I've gotten over all of you because I've had to.

Brother’s MSN name says:

because i was online to get a message to your mother and [Brother] mentioned you were online

Brother’s MSN name says:

it was probably a bad idea

Brother’s MSN name says:

don't put the blame on me for the choices that you made

Brother’s MSN name says:

you did what you wanted to do and i have had to do or not do what i thought was right

Elizabeth says:

I'm not blaming you at all.

Brother’s MSN name says:

you think you are the only one who got hurt?

Elizabeth says:

No. I don't.

Elizabeth says:

But we've both moved on.

Elizabeth says:

Let the past stay in the past.

Brother’s MSN name says:

i've also moved on without you because I had no choice in the matter

Brother’s MSN name says:

i will always love you

Brother’s MSN name says:

whether you want me to or not

Elizabeth says:

It's not a matter of wanting to. I'll always care what happens to you and the rest of your family. But, as I said: it's over now. There isn't any point in re-opening the lines of communication unless they are going to stay open.

Brother’s MSN name says:

no that's true

Elizabeth says:

Why not?

Elizabeth says:

I can't think that there's a chance for you all to move past the disfellowshipping and realize that I am your niece/daughter/granddaughter. It's not going to happen and I knew that when I decided not to go to the last meeting with the Elders. I don't fault any of you. But just as you can't have me in your life, I can't have you entering mine on a whim. I'm sorry, but it hurts me too much.

Elizabeth says:

Not that it doesn't hurt you as well. I'm just talking about me here.

Brother’s MSN name says:

don't trivialize it

Elizabeth says:

I'm not trivializing anything. What makes you say that?

Brother’s MSN name says:

this isn't getting us anywhere

Elizabeth says:

Well. Just tell me what you wanted to say. What did you hope to accomplish?

Elizabeth says:

Do you want to know how I'm doing? I'd like to know how you're doing.

Brother’s MSN name says:

nothing. I just wanted you to know i love you. that's alll

Elizabeth says:

Ok.

{11:14 a.m.}